Yelling and Listening ... Strategies to Reduce One and Increase the Other

We have all been there. Yelling is a great way to get the attention and often the immediate behavior we need from our children. Yet, when it becomes our go-to response to most every behavior, or we find ourselves using it more often that we’d like to, then it can get in the way of our long-term goals with our children because it can eat away at mutual respect and trust.

No one likes to be yelled at and no one likes to feel ignored...so what do we do when our children aren’t listening and we find ourselves raising our voices to be heard?

I remember asking myself these questions, and I found that what I was really wanting was to:

• Stay calm when my kids didn't listen or made mistakes
• Get my kids to listen instead of repeating myself over and over again
• Stop the yelling

The following are 3 strategies meant to encourage our relationships with our children by bringing a healthy sense of understanding and respect into focus. Put together they are a powerhouse for reconstructing relationships and building great communication practices for the long term.

Focus on You: You can have all the parenting skills in the world, but unless you can stop reacting out of emotion you won’t be able to use any of those skills.

Better Understanding Your Kids: In order to stop your child's negative behaviors, we must first find what's going on underneath your child's behavior. Anything else is just a band-aid fix and won't solve the real problems.

Creating Teamwork: Create a sense of teamwork within the family so your child will feel heard and respected. When a child feels understood and valued by the people they love you will get buy-in and your child will WANT to listen to you!

Here’s to great relationships with our kids!